Lesson N9.16: Don't Be A Heather

Note:  This is not a post about my health. I promise not to abuse this blog and turn it into something it's not, but this one is far too important.

Preface:  We have lived in the same neighborhood for nearly 10 years. While generally known for having a higher latino population, we love it for its racial diversity and mix of low income to upper middle class. In those ten years, I can count the number of times I've seen a rebel flag on one hand. 

Yesterday the grocery store was unusually busy. Half the carts were in use kind of busy. A lady was kind enough to offer her cart as she left, I smiled and thanked her but her face remained blank. As I walked through, I began to notice nearly every minority looked as though there was a death in the family. The cashier didn't offer the usual "did you find everything okay," and looked physically pained to smile. This was all so far beyond my typical shopping experience.

As I exited, a jacked up truck with massive tires and a rebel flag rear window was obnoxiously revving his engine impatiently waiting for pedestrians to cross. I looked around and saw stoic faces, I was the only person giving the "who tooted" face. I was the only white person.

It was as though it was expected. As though they had feared this election outcome would give voice to a very small population of bigots, and in that moment that fear was being realized. I desperately wanted to hug each person.

But I shut down.
My heart ached.
I left the parking lot in tears.

Yesterday I couldn't wrap my head around what I had witnessed. I refused to believe it was racially motivated. But those fellow shoppers were hurting, no matter the truck driver's intention the impact was clear. I regret not offering a hug. I deeply regret not voicing words of encouragement. Or at least a, "what's up Cleatus' butt!?" Something. Anything to shift the energy in that moment.

Yesterday I failed.
I walked away.
My silence made me an accomplice.
I became the problem.

Friends. Don't be me. Don't be complacent. Don't stand by as one person's actions cause another heartache. This isn't Republican vs Democrat thing. This is a love thing.
Choose love!

I'm calling myself out.
I'm calling YOU out.
Let's hold each other accountable.

See something. Hear something. Say something. If not to the aggressor, then certainly to the one being being harassed. Be kind. Be polite. And if you can't think of anything nice, make a joke. If on Facebook, I'd go with screaming goats. If you clicked that link, you understand what I'm saying. Sometimes all it takes to shift a conversation is to make someone laugh or smile. Maybe it doesn't work, but at least you made an attempt. We owe each other that! (I promise it's a link to the goats!)